rock n' roll & soul

"Do you blame rock n' roll?" 


was the question that we heard from our friend, whom was writing the story on our band. We'd just played The Picket, and we had agreed to do a little feature for the school paper. 


I think it was just after April Fool's Day. 


Me and my closest pal (at the time..) coming off the back of something we worked so hard for to be taken away in a swift move.


We we're in the garden of a pub, The Bear & Staff, not a bad place, quite up scale for us rocknrolla's, full of retired couples living off their pension, being snotty at our look.


We were in sunglasses, downing pint after pint, smoking endless cigarettes and flicking our lighters at the menu's, setting them a light. In a word, being tossers.


We 'evaluated' our time in the band, we'd taken stuff we shouldn't have, we drank our livers to a shrivel, stayed out late, sometimes never came home (we once snook into the Hilton hotel and slept in the games room...) and we were, well, out of control, but we loved every minute of it.


Looking back, we were rude, irritating, loud mouthed, dis-respectful, vandals, liars, cheats, thieves, you name it, we were probably it. All trying to be what we idolise, soundtracked by "Cigarettes & Alcohol", "Rock N Roll Star", "Up The Bracket", "My Generation", "The Drugs Don't Work" and "Comfortably Numb". 


This whole post being inspired by a Liam Gallagher lyric, "you're blinded by what you idolise..."


We certainly were. I decided after a female friend, who was once dear to me, accused me of being on drugs around my godson, I can't remember but I may have cried at the thought.


I'd rather die than do that.


And because of that accusation, I haven't spoken to her since, and she still doesn't believe me, so why bother if someone doesn't believe your words? 


It still dawned upon me..


Is that how I was seen?


There and then, I cut certain 'undesirables' out of my life, avoided them, knowing what it would lead to, the lager became soft drinks, the smoking stopped, I put my temptations into work and music.


This is nine months ago, and still, this 'reputation' of being an alcoholic/drug taking rocker, is still bestowed upon me. 


My teachers assume I am out every night, 'poisoning' those around me, some friends passing me in town, asking if I have any 'gear' and my family think I have a 'problem'. And that hurts. 


So, to answer that question, yes, I do blame rock n' roll. It's cast a shadow to big to get from under.  


But maybe I'm not trying hard enough, and I'm just a "Liam Gallagher" copy. 


I always end with a quote, so again I shall, one from Noel Gallagher, and my favourite song since I was six years old...


"Please don't put your life in the hands, of a rock n' roll band...who'll throw it all away..."